Hang on, foremost, Esah, thank you very much for your comments. I must admit I was flattered by it. Interesting eh? Hmm...that's just like saying Sofian is a one-dimension, politically blurred, full of spite, intelligently charming with ladies, but down on his luck of an ingrate. Incidentally, come to think of it, he is!
Oh! Don't get me wrong! He IS, a nice guy. When he wants to be-lah! Otherwise, he can be a real pain in the you-know-where. In fact, had he not told me about your comment, I would not have known at all. Last I logged-in, I believe, was a couple of months back or so. That was when I was still a volunteer with wtv8. Now, I'm not.
Anyway, even after Sofian informed me of Esah's comment, I've been putting off logging-in. Why? Don't really know. Perhaps, fear. And true enough, what greeted me here was something that shocked me quite a bit. I mean, over 300 people suddenly appeared out of nowehre to view my blog! Shocked and pleasantly surprised, I admit. But hello! I'm a private kind of an individual. Though 300 viewers is just a small number to many a bloggers, its HUGE to me! Furthermore, with all the grammatical errors and what-not mistakes, this can be very embarassing! But if its any consolation - to myself, actually - I don't plan what to write nor do I edit them. I just allow it to flow. To heck with the mistakes, hehe.
Geez...I'm blank now. Really! Cannot think of what to write. And to be honest, this has been the state of my mind for several months. But if you ask Sofian, he'll tell you it been like that for the lifetime he knows me. So, don't ask him.
There' actually a Malay word for the situation I'm in: terkedu - shocked and disheartened, that's what it is.
I had wanted wtv8 to be more than just a politically-inclined internet TV. I wanted to it touch base with the viewers by airing social news such as events at orphanges and such. As we were all volunteers and not gainfully employed, leeways should have been given for us to produce programs which would ordinarily not see the daylight in c0mmercial tvs. What irked me most was when a request to air the latest news during the Israel invasion of Lebanon was denied. An Ustaz had sms-ed me from Lebanon requesting for time and I relayed it. But for some uncomprehensibly unfounded and invalid fear, wtv8 turned it down. To me, its like "how insensitive can you get to the plight of the innocent". Thus, I left them. Eversince then, I've just been wandering my mind. Its like being jilted. Then again, I was the one who walked out. So end another chapter of my life.