Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Eli Wong Does Not Live Here

Sometime yesterday when I wanted to make an entry here, I was pleasantly surprised at the number of visitors I have been receiving over the 24hour period. I mean, for a blog by a nobody, I am nowhere near the likes of Cikgu, DocTA, kerpie, not to mention renowned writers such as Afrar, Cikgu Ali, Amin Black, rockybru or, just about anyone else who is a someone somewhere.

Initially, I had thought that by some chance, some people found my poor blog and thought I am a good writer and that made me feel bloody excited. I mean, here's a chance at fame, or so the mind went. Unfortunately however, when I took a closer look at the counter, I then realised that no, those people were not looking for me. Rather, they were searching for pictures of some woman politician who recently made headlines. And that, got me upset. No, not about my blog being still not worthy of read, but about the picture of the woman politician. So I thought, I'd better put my thoughts across and even write to her, which if I do, would be something like the below.


Dear YB Eli Wong,

Foremost, permit me to humbly apologise for writing to you on a matter which you should well be aware of. Though I suspect you are already beseiged with more attention than you had ever dreamt of on the subject matter, I do hope you will find it in you to read my thoughts as I put it here.

YB Eli, you do not know me personally, but we have met on one occasion, and I have seen you at several whilst covering events or news with webtv8. All these times I have seen you (do pardon me for saying so), I did have a thought or 2 about your dressing, which in my eyes, were rather retro, if you know what I mean. In fact, on an occasion just after you won your Parliamentary Seat, I voiced my thoughts to a friend who, being a keen political follower, agreed almost instantly. He, however, informed me that since the GE12 results were announced, you have made some glaring changes to your dressing, befitting those of a YB, much to my sigh of relief. For in truth YB, I really think you are one swell looking lady, one that I admit, despite the retro-fit I mentioned, could well make more than a head turn looking your way.

YB Eli, now that the niceties have been dispensed of, let me get straight to the point. When I read Harakahdaily and Malaysiakini of late, there were news about your uncoming behaviour, and how the pictures of such scenes were being widely distributed especially in the Net. I was shocked and could not believe it. Then I read your admission, and your statement that your are being victimised amongst other things. That aside, the only thing that crossed my mind is "How could you?"

YB Eli, I am normally quite a private person. Thus when my blog received a larger number of visitors than normal, my mind tend to get inquisitive. I mean, why on Earth would anyone want to visit my blog? If its for the initial reasons I had like the opening para of this entry, then I ought to feel flattered. But now, having ascertained that it is not, I do feel an invasion into my privacy. So let me tell you this YB Eli, I'm going to give these visitors who are looking for your pictures what they want. Yes, I admit that part of the picture is rather obscene, but please, do not go blaming me for it. Here goes...


There, don't you think that picture of kerpie, my bro, somewhat obscene? I mean, heck, one can even see his tummy there! This picture, taken by our bro Mat Salo, even had that cakapaje in it initially. But being the more offensively obscene figure, I had to crop the picture to make it somewhat decent. Still, I'm pretty sure there's one or two Mat or Minah out there who would swear otherwise that you should tender your resignation.

YB Eli, know you that even the Wanita MCA has now come out in your defence, quite contrary to what the 2 Mats - Mat Toyol and Mat Ali - wants. To surrender to the whims of these 2 Mats who may only be a shade better than the Mat See Four and Mat Cradle Snatcher (who incidentally is from the same state as Mat Ali), is an admission of defeat. And YB Eli, after having read bits about you, I know you are not one to surrender easily.

YB Eli, now that we have touched on the Mats, kindly excuse me while I puke.

My apologies. I just could not help myself just now when hearing on the news a denial by a Mat Toyol that your pictures - those supposedly obscene shots of you sleeping alone - are not part of a smear campaign. I mean, how would he know? Unless, there were already plans afoot which were later scuttled due to some reason or another. And when you take consideration of factors such as the political scene in Perak, as well as the absurd accusation against another woman YB in Klang, some other form of pictures do take shape in one's mind, which perhaps, was why I puked just now. Forgive me.

YB Eli, it seems, this mail is getting longer than intended. But do permit me to put in some small thoughts - mine, that is - not on Perak, but again, some Mats who have come to see themselves as Royal Champions. Though the media say they are Champions of the Royalties, in truth, they see themselves higher than that.

Sometime in the not too distant past, YB, a colleague of these Mats, tried to install a new Sultan in a northeast state of Peninsular Malaysia. Though he was not succesful in doing so, his act was in fact an act of treason, and rightly, punishable by death. But he escaped the rope simply because he was a member of a political party that has been clowning around in Malaysia. The Sarkas, I believe they are called. Unfortunately, some fickle members of the public believe in the words of this clowns now and even labelled other Malaysians as 'Penderhaka', or treasonous people. Why, simply because one or two of the 'Penderhaka' wants to bring the Perak issue to the Courts of Law. Really? Are what they doing really that bad? If so, then how is it that these fickle minded Malaysian never bothered when another Royalty was brought to the Courts and declared insolvent? How come these so called 'loyal' citizens did not go up in arms against the Courts, or the financial institution who brought up the charges? Are they, in fact, afraid of the Courts, which rightly should be the Institution of Law in Malaysia? Or, are they, quite like I mentioned, fickle minded? Nah, make that simpletons.

YB, if you remember correctly, sometime last decade, a Hollywood film company came to Malaysia to produce a remake of 'The King And I'. A Sarkas Minister then, being the clown he is, welcomed the company with a big splash on the media headlines, extolling the virtues of Malaysia's scenery, and bla bla bla. And some fickle minded Malaysians, oops, sorry, simpletons, I mean, flocked to Taiping in hope to be casted as extras and earn some money. Never mind that the country which the film was based on, had denied entrance to the company on the ground of the film being insulting to their King. "Who cares their Royalty?" they might have thought. Some of those simpletons then, are the same simpletons now that it hits them on the nose. Well, YB, actually, it never came to even that, but being the simpletons they are, they simply do not know it.

Still relating to Perak YB, interestingly, I met a first cousin of the state the other day, after having been invited for a simple teh tarik at a decent restaurant somewhere near my house. The kindly royalty, was gracious, polite, but was full of guffaw. But when touched on the issue, its safe to say that he and many of his house are in full disagreement to the matter, the one those simpletons believe in. And very surprisingly YB, he and his house are not the only with such stand. For, if if you were to read here, then you would realise the more important issues than the one berated by those simpletons, especially those clowns in Sarkas. And who really is the Penderhaka.

Put it this way YB, in the picture of you are bro kerpie up there, many would agree that you are the more decently dressed person. However, the simpletons would swear you are not.

Thank you.


Warm regards,
Cakapaje.

30 comments:

Kata Tak Nak said...

How could you post something so vulgar in your blog? Did I see a navel there?

Tok Bebayang Acheh Dan Cucunya ZiZi said...

Jelas!

Hehehe...

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Haiya! This one ar, all faults must be put on our bro, kerpie. Terrible fella, that guy :)

But, good thing I cropped out the part of cakapaje, though his yellow sleeve can still be seen in the picture. Worse still fell, that guy :)

cakapaje said...

Salam Zubli,

Aiks? Dah tukar avatar dan nama nampaknya! Hihihi...memula tadi, den takut gak cucu Dato' mana yang nak menyerand den :)

Jelas, dan amat jelas sekali.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Broooooooooooo…

Not sure where to begin with. but here goes anyway, nowhere near kerpie? Quit being humble la dei, you’re way way better than I ever could come close with.

And, I cant quite see anything wrong on the way she dress up. I mean, her dressings have been rather pleasantly decent.

Now, for the crux of this entry- I was subjected to ridicule, caught posing in an obscene manner without my knowledge. I’m blaming this on the person responsible to leak this secret document out. I shall wait for his return from the swamp.

To the blog owner, I demand you take the picture down or risk getting your arse sued.

Acah mak enon…muahahahahaaa…

Malu la wei, nampak perut.

Eh, docta kita interframe kat belakang tu…hehehe

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

Bro, how come you never realised about this pic/document at Knights of Asam Pedas? And after having displayed it for a long time, there's no longer any point of me bringing down this pic/doc, taking into consideration, almost the entire world has seen it. Well, make it something like 500+ individuals :)

muteaudio said...

Saya demand Kerp letak jawatan daripada apa saja jawatan yg beliau sandang!

Dan Mat Salo mesti dipertanggungjawabkan atas kesalahan melanggar hak privacy.

Shah perlu diambil tindakan kerana menyebarkan gambar yg tersangat obscene ini

Dan DocTA kerana enter-frame.

Moral daripada kejadian ini. Dalam keadaan skrg, kita (terutamanya mereka yg ada political ambition) kena berpakaian lengkap tidak kira di mana saja termasuk lah di bilik mandi dan bilik tidur. You don't know who's watching????

cakapaje said...

Salam Muta,

Agreed! Kerpie mesti letak jawatan dari kerusi roda dia, and that's final!

Mat Salo, from his paparazzi days.

Doc TA, as bloggers meet official Doctor.

Shah, er...hey, I resigned already what! :)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

muahahhahahhaaa...

tapi tuan, saya disini hanya seorang mangsa. saya tidak sanggup diperlakukan sebegini rupa. hina dan seperti tidak bermaruah. I DEMAND JUSTICE!!

hehehehe...eh Raz, you were there too, i took a ride from you.

cakapaje said...

kerpie,

Dalam undang undang perlaksanaan Sarkas dan sewaktunya, mangsa juga dikira bersalah semata mata kerana menjadi mangsa - siapa suruh lu jadi mangsa? - kata Sarkas.

Dan mahkamah bloggers menjatuhkan hukuman mengikut precedent kes kes yang melibatkan Sarkas terdahulu dari ini.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Saya ingin merujuk kepada saranan pemimpin agong yang tersohor Al-Sheikh Al Toyol Tempehi Al Botoxi bahawa sesiapa saja yang tertangkap gambarnya dalam keadaan yang tidak sesuai untuk tontonan umum maka haruslah dia meletak jawatan daripada tugas dan hidup. Kalau tak setuju tanya Hakim Al Ogostina Al Hacksi.

Roti Kacang Merah said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA i nearly fell off my chair, gelak gila pulak tu kat ofis!

Gila lucah gambar tu!!!!

You should make a caption competition lah BroShah!

And oh the husband had a visitor from an ex-palace officer of a nearby state. if you hear how (some of) the royalty misuse the public money and 'jual maruah Melayu' to bangsa lain to tebus diri... Subhanallah, barulah faham kenapa ada orang yang anti-Royalty in M'sia...

Allahu a'lam!

mOEha Aziz said...

salam ya akhi...

cant see the pic... but my fren nizam said... tak menaikkan syahwat pun... so, it's so vulgar la... hehehehe

i dun undastand nowadays politiking... so silly n childish...

cakapaje said...

Cikgu,

Betul tu, den sokong 125%! (25% tu kamsen ek)

So kerpie bro, your days are numbered already :)

cakapaje said...

Salam Alin,

Hehe, glad you find the 'obscene' picture funny.

Caption competition ek? That's a good thought. Perhaps, next round then.

As for the people you mentioned, yes, I do know some of the stories.

cakapaje said...

Wa'alaikumusalam ya Muha,

Tak menaikkan syahwat? Lor...then why all the fuss, one wonder?

Sobonaunya, den dah agak gambau tu sebegitu. I mean, come on, when a human sleep, the only thing that stands out are the dried tears near your eyes. And that, cannot be said to be tempting, can then? (smile).

Dan Muha, begitulah ceritanya kisah bebudak yang kehilangan pedoman hidup apabila mereka kehilangan kuasa - memang childish!

CelloTape said...

Wow! Cantiknya perut...Bro Kerpie...awak mesti bertaubat...hahahaha
opssss...lariiiiiiii...

ntah berapa lah Hilmi Malek ni dapat for the pic kan??

acciaccatura said...

salam shah,
just before eli kena, saya ada terfikir if we all go to bed decently. what if rumah kita roboh masa kita tidur and then orang lain menyelamatkan kita dalam keadaan kita yang tak menutup aurat tu? faham sajelah dengan camera phone skarang.

itu baru bilik kita sendiri,macamana pulak kat public toilet ke, kat bilik hotel ke? mintak sentiasa dipeliharaNya.

AFRAR YUNUS said...

salam shah
ada manusia sanggup mengambil kesempatan di atas kesusahan orang lain.
2.yg mereka heboh sangat tentan isu eli, tapi apabila moral dihadapan pencipta terkoyak, bagaimana?

cakapaje said...

Salam Cello,

Cantik kan, gambar tu? lol!

Kalau paparazzi kat barat boleh dibayar beratus ribu pound dan dollar, apalagi kes camni? Rasanya, ada jutaan juga lah.

cakapaje said...

Wa'alaikumusalam E,

Hmm...memang patut direnungkan perkara yang E sebut tu. Kita usaha lindungi diri, kemdian kita berserah ye.

cakapaje said...

Wa'alaikumusalam AFRAR,

Memang benar tu. Bila den jenguk beberapa blog orang sana, den terkejut juga baca camna depa kutuk Eli, sedangkan terang beberapa kes berat termasuk khalwat terhadap ADUN dan MP Be End telah terbongkar. Dan perkara kecil sebegini pula mereka laungkan sekuat hati. Sedih.

captcalicojack said...

Salam Shah,

ala, i came here to see the pics!!... :) but seriously, Shah, well said about yb eli. nasib tak baik betul dia, supposedly caught in a compromising position on camera.

i think it's dirty politics to use these sort of tactics against your opponents. she was doing a good job. only thing is i also terbaca article the sun about iskandar abd samad's take that it may be due to people who don't agree on her toughness in implementing environmental policies (maybe lah, macam mana pun BN will take full advantage). Allah Knows Better.

OT, but a good book about the Prophet's (saw) military campaigns is Zakaria Bashier's 'War and Peace in the Life of Prophet Muhammad (saw)', publisher The Islamic Foundation UK. Good discussion of the consequences of each battle and full treatment on the wisdom of the Treaty of Hudaybiyah.

Zawi said...

Shah,
This is even better. I thought I was going to see the Mat Tempe's face or but. Good one. You had me there.

Eskapisminda said...

Hi Bro CA, hehe. Dah lama saya tak singgah sebab sibuk. Sekali singgah, ada gambar porno pulak. Kidding. ;)

Well said on Eli. From the reaction of certain people we can guess why they are not with the majority even though this is definately issue pencabulan hak peribadi.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hehehe...yea, but wei, dah la tu. teruk ar korang. bak kata paklah- sudah-sudah lah.

When Eli can fly abroad, teman tak mampu. mana nak letak muka?

ok, shah, next posting please...

muahahahahahaaaaaaaa...

cakapaje said...

W'salam Cap'n,

Hehe, sorry to disappoint you about the pic :) And regarding possibilities of other people being involved, yup, I cannot discount that. However, due to history of their own making, I still look suspiciously on those clowns in Sarkas.

About the book, jakakAllah khair. InsyAllah, I will go hunting it. Best bet would be Saba Islamic Media. But they've shifted to Wangsa Maju, which is very much out of the way for me there. Syukran.

cakapaje said...

Salam Pak Zawi,

Hehe...I guess, you are not the only one who thought differently :) Nonetheless, I'm glad you too like the picture.

cakapaje said...

Salam Intan,

Ha! You too like that pic! Hmm...now on hindsight, I should have sold the pic to the highest bidder, which rightly, would be kerpie :)

cakapaje said...

kerpie bro,

Too right, Eli can fly. Wokay, one new posting coming out tonight, insyAllah. Cuma, tak dapat den tentukan samada kek sini atau My Neverland ye :)