My Name is Barn

Many a bestseller, whether novels or films, have their characters - main, and even the supporting roles - based on true people and events. Sometimes the idea to write or produce were inspired by these people, sometimes not. Well, at least not entirely as the story would more often than not, depict the persons or events with a slight exaggeration...or more. This entry, is based on true observation. Unlike a well written novel or production where the antagonist role is defined as good or evil, or evil turned good, or vice-versa, his nature here is left entirely to the readers to decide.


I do not know where or how to begin. But I am getting old and have been afflicted with one ailment after another, that some say my death is near already; I find that last bit, too gruesome to accept. Unlike the 1,000year Reich which ended within 2 or 3 scores of its promised life, I intend to live throughout and more, the prophecy of the 6th generation which was my destiny. At this juncture, I should warn you that I am not a single man or two. I, am an entity.

What I am, who I really am, I cannot tell you. It is not because I do not want to, but I am just unable to. My entire life has been one confusing state of affair. Perhaps, were we a building, I would be one of the smaller rooms - important to some, loathsome to many others; the latter could never be more right for within the wall of my room, 2 worlds collide. That said, it would then be better to look back from the beginning.

It may seem hard to believe that I was sparkling clean early in my days with not a spot to be found. No germs, no bacteria, of whatsoever. The people who came to me, found me to be a joy to be with. Soon, word spread and more and more people came. Perhaps that was when things change. I can't find the correct words to use, but if any, an old Malay proverb may suit the meaning here: "Kerana nila setitik, rosak susu sebelanga".

Due to my ever increasing schedule, a thought crossed the mind of a few and before long, my visitors were being charged a small fee. "Just a token", my keepers said. And I consented, thinking that it could lead to better things. How wrong I was.

As more and more people visit me, they wittingly or not, brought along with them dirt which may not be seen by the naked eye. And in embracing them and their needs, soon the dirt found its way to me and stick it does, like a feeding leech. Whatever 'token' taken, became insufficient and thus, was increased. But instead of making me better, I became worse. My keeper, especially the ones sitting on a 'throne', refuse to do anything positive and in fact, contribute further to my worsening condition, causing a laureate to write in the foulest manner possible. For that, he was ridiculed by my keepers. In the meantime, the condition of my being slips to a point of ridiculous where broken tiles and dirty water flood the floor. To make matter worse, crimes are now being committed without conscience. Still, visitors come to me. Not as many as before as a high number have decided enough is enough. The evil thoughts that now reside within me, laugh at those ingrates; do they know not, that I am by far the most important thing in this house?

Yes, it does seem the laureate was correct in his words. But what care do I have for them? My loyal visitors, throng to me in numbers not known before. Drunks and misfits they may be, but I love them to bits. Without them, my life would be empty. However, a worrying presence is beginning to manifest itself.

For the past several years, brickbats have been hurled towards me by some writers, causing a considerable damage to my reputation. Initially, I had thought them to be silly and undignified people with nothing better to do but write unfounded allegations against me. But now, I take a slightly different view: they are, admittedly, people with conscience and noble intention. Come this 29th November, I have been informed of another secret meeting that may probably take place at their Castle of the Kinghts of Asam Pedas (read here).

I would be lying to say that I do not fear them. Working alone, many of them has managed to cleanse the minds of the people. Together, they can easily bring me to my knees. What more, I hear this time, apart from my nemeses DocTA Strangeglove, Goldfinger Madsalo, Ironside kerpie, and Aristotle Jaflam organising the meet, a Cikgu No from Penang will be attending it too. The meet this time, I was told, would be to discuss the people's 'Quantum of Sorrow'. This, could well be my death knell.

My name, by the way, is Barn. Jarm Barn.

Though the video seem to have been purposely blurred many have heard it, do listen to the music and lyrics of the theme to my life.