Toon-Tit

Many people when they were mere toddlers, develop words or 'kata manja' of their own, most of the times due to necessity as they have yet to learn the correct words to describe a feeling or an object. Other times, it could have been the inability to pronounce such words. With the passing of time, and the presence of self-consciousness, many chose to discard such words either for want of self-improvement, or simply ashamed of using it. To the family and close friends however, such words will always be remembered and perhaps, even trademark the person to it.

An elderly lady passed away this morning. She was 76, the same age as my Emak. Arwah Mak Nyonya's family (her real name is Nyonya), was close to Emak's family, having helped raised 3 of Emak's sisters at a time when my arwah grandmother developed phobia of raising kids, due to her losing 3 children (and later 4). Thus, while my aunts' children are close to the arwah's family, I was not. In fact, I think I have only met her twice. She was, I was told, a kind and gentle lady, always ready to go out of her way for her family members and friends. It was thus not surprising then that quite a number of people - friends and relatives - turned up for her funeral. I did not go to the burial though, as Emak have trouble walking distances or standing long periods, and we left soon as the jenazah was brought to the mosque for prayers before proceeding to the cemetary.

While there, Azman, my cousin, mentioned that we should now be more prepared for the eventual to happen. I have to admit, I am fearful of that day. Not for anything, but being alone, would I be left in a state of shock, sitting motionless and unable to do or call anyone, as did happen to a distant uncle on the news of my grandfather passing away? And later, left in the solitude of this house, how would I face the loneliness of calling her name but not hearing her reply...her voice. It scares me. I can only pray that Allah s.w.t. will give me the strength to face it.

On the way back from arwah Mak Nyonya's house, Emak tells me several stories of a distant past, at a time when she and her sibblings were of lower primary school age. Then, Mak Nyonya's sister, arwah Zainun, taught Emak and her sibblings a word which she still remember fondly to this day.

About 6plus then, arwah Zainun would sometimes complain about the portion of food she gets. Unable to find the correct word to use, she would refer to the small portion as 'Toon-Tit'.

It is from Allah s.w.t. that we come from, and it is to Him we shall return.