Friday, February 29, 2008

For Bro Kerpie

I was sifting sifting through the news just after doing the same thing with the in-box of my email when I decided to put hold of everything as my head was getting woozy. Per day alone I get - not personal emails, mind you - between 500-800 emails out of which maybe only 10% which are newsworthy; the rest fall between interesting reads or worse, junk mails. Then the wooziness sets in and I decided to take a break and do an entry for our bro kerp. After all, in his last comment of my previous entry he wrote:
"ok la shah, show us what you've got in mind and if its worth jumping in, i'll be right behind you."
Now, I will be holding him to his words :)

Cakapaje has been sitting on the same spot for hours now. His chins resting on his hands which in turn rests on the kneecaps of his legs which were drawn in. He has not moved much from this position, except for his right hand which he moves in a sweeping manner on the cold surface, and at times as if sketching the surface with his fingers. Every once so often, he would shift the position of his head so that it would lie on either his left or right hand. And his eyes, gaze far into a distant, ignoring all objects nearby. His mind empty, save for the thoughts of a dear friend whom he will not be able to meet in a very long while. And such very thoughts have induced him into a state of stupor. He feels, hear and see nothing else but which the thoughts direct him to.

After what it seem almost an eternity, Cakapaje stands on his feet. His movement were slow yet fluid, never jerky or sudden which one would have thought of a person in such state of mind. His, was purposeful and with intent.

Cakapaje gaze all around him but his eyes still does not see anything, either near objects nor far. Or if he does, those objects are just a mere blur, nothing which could any longer recognise, and certainly nothing which which could snap him out of his mind. With his head now bent down, he slowly pushes his right leg forward, almost in a glide. Then the left, and again right. He continues doing so till he reach the edge of the surface, and not once during the slow march did his head ever shift, putting intense focus on every glide of his legs.

Now, Cakapaje stand precariously on the very edge of the surface; balancing his body with only half of both feet, while the other half dangles midair. His head still bent down, looking at the empty space below and in front of him. Slowly his vision returns and he begins to see tiny objects moving around almost without direction, and Cakapaje smile to himself. The moment is now at hand and Cakapaje must decide on a course of action that may forever change his life. And he must make the decision soon before his very own fear stops him. Suddenly, a voice calls our for him from the rear and snaps him out of his stupor. He suddenly realises where he is and fear begins to envelop him.

The voice calls out to him again and Cakapaje turns his head and in the process of doing so, begins to lose his balance. Both his arms begins to flail in an attempt to regain balance but with his torso already thrust forward, it is a futile attempt, and he falls flat onto the new surface with a loud splash! The water of the swimming pool however, is a refreshing welcome from the hot midday sun.

Now, I hope you didn't think I was attempting suicide, did you?


Yo kerp! Gua gayat le bro! Camna gua nak panjat tinggi tinggi :) You are most certainly welcome to try it, but with all of us around to haul you back up later lah!

Anway, moral of the story is: Sesunggohnya, hidup ku, mati ku, ibadah ku dan solat ku, adalah hanya untuk Allah s.w.t.


14 comments:

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Ya Ampon.

I wanted to say this; if you were thinking about going skinny-dipping somewhere in Janda Baik, better think twice as you may be arrested for public indecency…hehehe…

But very well-written as usual from you. only maybe the content at first seems to be of a very depressing mood. You know, like notes coming from an angst-driven rock star.

Maybe I should take the cue from you and write every single detail of my movement in a day. not exactly a chronology but more poetical…or maybe not.

Here’s the thing, brother. I didn’t get the drifts at all all these while. Had a chat with DocTA this morning and only it kinda hit me what exactly you went through lately. You managed to fool a fool.

I say hang in there. if its chemistry, let the dove fly and it sure will fly back into your arms…or something gay like that. But you get what I mean.

Chill, lets have some drinks once the GE’s over, on me, insyaAllah.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Its not fair to ask you to put what you are going through behind. If it makes you feel better, go ahead. You are lucky nowadays can chat on internet. Can see the face some more. I think this way better because can zoom one. You'd be closer than you ever have. That's the positive side of it.

cakapaje said...

Salam Kerp,

Bro, nothing going on. I'm jumping up and down as usual...with one leg! lol! I'm cool babe.

About the drink, that's an affirmative.

Er...my hands tire easily; so you better tell me when to let go :)

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Lol! Unfortunately, I don't really chat online. Well, at least hardly nowadays. Most of the nights I would be to preoccupied with my online work and perhaps, a wee bit of personal thing :)

tokasid said...

Salam Bro Shah:

Nice piece here.
The first part made me imagine an old apek at a kopitiam sitting the way you described, thinking of his past glorious days as a tukang jual nombor ekor haram and remembering how his wife chased him out of the house with a broom when wife found out apek had 3 mistresses at a go!

As for the swimming pool part, you should go with Pak Matsalo for a swim. He's the champ.
Me and Kerp will be watching by the poolside and Che'gu will make sure we all behave well in public. E,Raden,Mariani and Elviza wil prepare the foods( Boleh Puan Elviza?LOL!)

Mat Salo said...

Tumpang lalu shah...

Hoi Doktasid! The last time I went to the pool with some friends everyone kinda sniggered. Depa bilang my 'aurat' terbukak. What-dah-ffu...

I was wearing shorts that covered my navel to my knee, so what gives?

Ooh, kesan nya since I got flabby, they pointed to my chest -- nenen!

Alaamaaak...now I'm real embarrassed dude, but heh, suicide isn't an option. Plastic surgery is. I understand Clark Gable MD can buang the lemak there. Betui ke? What say the Doc?

tokasid said...

Pak MS:

Pusat tu lutut dah cover aurat dah tu.
But that nenen...hmm...maybe the gut got aroused by your nenen kot. Hey make sure your daughter doesn't get confuse bila nak nnetek pak.

This liposuction thingy...the problem is post suction if you cannot pantang with your food(in other word pantang jumpa only) then the fat might re-accumulate.

But if don't do the lipo and you nenen gets bigger...you'll have a hairy nenen.Now...that's sexy and yu can sing Rod Stewart's "Da ye think I'm sexy".LOL!

tokasid said...

Shah:

Sorry...lupa minta ijin tadi ngomen sama pak MS.
Skrg minta ijin ya pak Shah.

waterlily said...

Boleh. Boleh Doc TA. I am volunteering myself . Jadi tukang bancuh sirap LOL.

ps; Shah tag jawab lepas pru ye.

FLY ME TO THE MOON, :D

cakapaje said...

Wa'alaikumusalam Doc,

Initially when I got to the part of the apek, I thought you were going to mention about the one in P Ramlee's story "hilup susah, mati pun susah..." lol!

cakapaje said...

Salam MS,

Bro, you've got flab! Lor...luckily I only have stomach muscles! Hence, I don't have to follow Doc's advice to go for a lipo. lol!

cakapaje said...

Salam WL,

Sirap je ke? Aiseh, kalau minta bandung Johor, leh tak?

As for flying you to the moon, alamak, supirman cuma ada Wira je, setengah jalan pun tak sampai :)

And tag selepas PRU, no prob. Er...you pun berkempen ke? :)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

eh, sorry doc. i'm jumping in with shah and MS, but with aurat and nenen covered la. malu kakak2 semua nengok...hehehe...

you jump, i jump shah. but i'd only jump lautan api for pinky...hehehehe...

talking about bulu, cikgu win hands down.

cakapaje said...

kerpie,

Lol! On bulu and cikgu, I may have to agree there. Er...ampun Cikgu!