I was sifting sifting through the news just after doing the same thing with the in-box of my email when I decided to put hold of everything as my head was getting woozy. Per day alone I get - not personal emails, mind you - between 500-800 emails out of which maybe only 10% which are newsworthy; the rest fall between interesting reads or worse, junk mails. Then the wooziness sets in and I decided to take a break and do an entry for our bro kerp. After all, in his last comment of my previous entry he wrote:
"ok la shah, show us what you've got in mind and if its worth jumping in, i'll be right behind you."
Now, I will be holding him to his words :)
Cakapaje has been sitting on the same spot for hours now. His chins resting on his hands which in turn rests on the kneecaps of his legs which were drawn in. He has not moved much from this position, except for his right hand which he moves in a sweeping manner on the cold surface, and at times as if sketching the surface with his fingers. Every once so often, he would shift the position of his head so that it would lie on either his left or right hand. And his eyes, gaze far into a distant, ignoring all objects nearby. His mind empty, save for the thoughts of a dear friend whom he will not be able to meet in a very long while. And such very thoughts have induced him into a state of stupor. He feels, hear and see nothing else but which the thoughts direct him to.
After what it seem almost an eternity, Cakapaje stands on his feet. His movement were slow yet fluid, never jerky or sudden which one would have thought of a person in such state of mind. His, was purposeful and with intent.
Cakapaje gaze all around him but his eyes still does not see anything, either near objects nor far. Or if he does, those objects are just a mere blur, nothing which could any longer recognise, and certainly nothing which which could snap him out of his mind. With his head now bent down, he slowly pushes his right leg forward, almost in a glide. Then the left, and again right. He continues doing so till he reach the edge of the surface, and not once during the slow march did his head ever shift, putting intense focus on every glide of his legs.
Now, Cakapaje stand precariously on the very edge of the surface; balancing his body with only half of both feet, while the other half dangles midair. His head still bent down, looking at the empty space below and in front of him. Slowly his vision returns and he begins to see tiny objects moving around almost without direction, and Cakapaje smile to himself. The moment is now at hand and Cakapaje must decide on a course of action that may forever change his life. And he must make the decision soon before his very own fear stops him. Suddenly, a voice calls our for him from the rear and snaps him out of his stupor. He suddenly realises where he is and fear begins to envelop him.
The voice calls out to him again and Cakapaje turns his head and in the process of doing so, begins to lose his balance. Both his arms begins to flail in an attempt to regain balance but with his torso already thrust forward, it is a futile attempt, and he falls flat onto the new surface with a loud splash! The water of the swimming pool however, is a refreshing welcome from the hot midday sun.
Now, I hope you didn't think I was attempting suicide, did you?
Yo kerp! Gua gayat le bro! Camna gua nak panjat tinggi tinggi :) You are most certainly welcome to try it, but with all of us around to haul you back up later lah!
Anway, moral of the story is: Sesunggohnya, hidup ku, mati ku, ibadah ku dan solat ku, adalah hanya untuk Allah s.w.t.