Friday, July 18, 2008

The Interstellar Traveller

Palah arrived on the man-made satellite off a planet deep in the Andromeda Galaxy approximately 6 minutes after he left Earth, slightly longer than the anticipated time of 5 minutes and 15 seconds. The wormhole technology which Malaysian scientist used for this historic journey, is considered old in the world of space travel. But the scientist had no choice but to make do with it, as their government had purchased it from the Russians in an arms-palm oil trade some years ago. The fact that the dismantling, delivery and rebuilding of the complex housing the technology cost more than had a totally new one purchased, is off course, a different story.

When the station received the signal that Palah's entire DNA sequence has been received intact, they began the process of reconstituting the physical aspect of it. Its a complex thing but many other nations have done it in the past, and Palah does not want Malaysia to be left behind. With so much energy needed to generate sufficient power for this process, the entire nation need for it was sacrificed, having to go without electricity for a whole week. Even hospitals were not spared and they had to function on candle light and even the power for the surgical theaters were drawn from hospital orderlies cycling on stationery bicycles connected to a large dynamo. The cost alone, off course, is sufficient to feed an entire country of 20 million people for a year. But, prestige comes first for the leaders of this country. And that was how Malaysia entered the space-age travel.

As the first molecules of Palah appeared in the transport cubicle, everyone's face was filled with glee. But less than a few seconds later, their facial expressions turned to deep concern as red lights began lighting and sirens was wailing non-stop. "What on Earth is happening?" asked one scientist.
"I wouldn't know," replied another "I'm not there".

Slowly as the the physical shape of a man materialise, the deep concern turned into alarming looks. Almost all the scientists mouths were wide agape; instead of the figure of a single man, there were two!

Somehow, not wanting to be left out, Najis had jumped into the cubicle at Earth, at the same time Palah's body was de-constituted. Off course, Palah had no way of knowing it for during interstellar travel, even the brain cease to exist in the form we know of it. In other words, travelers are unconscious. But that, is the least of the problem.

Once the two bodies were fully reconstituted, several scientists rushed to the cubicle shouting "Don't panic! Don't panic! We will remedy the situation!".

Shocked at hearing the words, Palah and Najis groped around in a manner quite like people without sight. Then they felt their hands being held, and led away into 2 separate rooms. There, each were stripped naked even while they were standing.

As Palah's pants and underwear were pulled down, he shouted "Hey! Why am I in a crouching position?" But he was not. And the scientist did not want to answer until the Chief Technologist walked in.

The CT then explained "Palah, it seems we have encountered a problem. Unknown to you, Najis had jumped into the wormhole as you were departing. That, created confusion within the system, and both you and Najis DNA have now been changed".
"What?" cried Palah, "That's impossible! DNA cannot change nor go stale!"
"We thought so ourselves too", replied the CT. "But apparently, the theory forwarded some 200 years ago - in 2008, to be precise - was quite true. Then everyone debunked the theory as it was forwarded by some clown who was not even a student of biology or chemistry, and not even physics. But now it has been proven true. I'm sorry".

"Why are you sorry? Why am I still in a crouching position? And why do I feel as if there's something in my mouth?" asked Palah, with a voice almost in desperation.
"Perhaps,"replied the CT "it would be better for you to have a look yourself". As he said that, 2 scientist placed a standing mirror several feet in front of his eyes.

Palah looked towards the direction of the mirror and had the shock of his life. He then turned his body around while keeping his eyes facing the mirror, then screamed out loud.

By some cruel twist in the wormhole technolgy, Palah found out, much to his horror, that his body and Najis had interchanged parts here and there. Though the changes were...minor, shall we say, it was enough to make Palah a deranged man. For, the front of his head is now Najis face minus the eyes. Palah's eyes on the other hand, were each reconstituted at his rear end. To make matter worst, the thing which Palah felt in his mouth, are the testicles belonging to Najis. It was likewise with Najis too.

DNA it seems, can be subjected to changes, and can even go stale as implied by Palah's ancestor sometime on Friday, July 18, in the year 2008.


Me... Only Better said...

FUIYO!! dasat...sci-fi lagi..ceh..jeles aku...kena put on my thinking cap la...mane nih...

cakapaje said...

Salam Tehsin,

Sci-fi kah? I thought its facts already, having come out from the horse's mouth. Oops! I mean, from Palalah's mouth :)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Are you sure it was the testicles that were stuck in his mouth, not the soft flaccid shaft.

cakapaje said...

Salam Cikgu,

Lol! Perhaps. But that would be too lurid and obscene to describe :)

mOEha Aziz said...

salam ya akhi,

fuyyo... sci-fi. yg paling best, palah punya english.. fuhh dasat gile... hehehe :)

cakapaje said...

Wa'alaikumusalam ya Muha,

Bukan sci-fi kut. Cam saya reply kat me...only better, ianya kenyataan yang diluahkan oleh palalah :)

ps. kemana menghilang lama?